A WEATHER ANOLOGY:

In weather systems a depression is a low pressure system when the weather is dominated by unstable conditions. With a depression air is rising forming an area of low pressure on the surface.  The rising air cools and condenses and encourages cloud formation so the weather is often cloudy and wet.

In today’s blog  about depression I want to get a little bit more practical.  But first, a very short rant.

We live in a world that values individuality.  As individuals we are supposed to ’go it alone’. We tend to think that if we can’t fight through depression alone then we are less than. That is baloney! We need community , friends, family and helpers who support and challenge us. You do not have to go through depression alone. Rant done for the time being.

A depression is any low mood that worsens or lasts more than two weeks, Symptoms include, negative thinking. low self esteem. low energy, a feeling of hopelessness or helplessness, everyday actions feel overwhelming, loss of vitality and joy. You feel kind of foggy much of the time. Depression not only robs you of past happy memories it robs you of making new happy memories. Depression invites you to push people away.

Last week we talked a bit about how to deal with depression and this week I want to write little more about that, treatment that works, what friends can do and what to do if you begin to think about suicide.

Treatment:

When I think of the word treatment I think of medical treatment but I want to go a bit beyond the medical model. In lots f ways i think of depression as not only an individual condition or illness but I extend that to your community. When one person is left behind or withdraws as a community we suffer a loss. So my advice is not just for the person who is living with depression but for all of us as family, friends, neighbours, co-workers and helpers.

1. Learn as much as you can about this taboo subject which is depression.

• For us as community:

What does depression look like, can you hear it in someone’s voice? Can you see it in how they dress? Does depression have an underlying cause that might be medical? Ask questions? But do not expect the person with depression to train you. Then we need to ask ourselves ‘how does our community treat people with depression, are there appropriate services” then what can I do to help? Manage you expectations for the person who lives with depression.

• For the individual who lives with depression

Medication:

My words on this subject are simple and I hope as direct as I can be.

If you need it take it.

If your doctor prescribes it for you, for goodness sake give it a good try, Sometimes there are side effects which minimize with time. It also takes awhile for anti-depressants to work, sometimes up to 6 weeks. Take it as prescribed please.

The first thing I ask people to do when I work with them as clients is to get a medical check up. Why you may ask? Well first of all, then you can include your family doctor as part of your wellness teams. If the doctor prescribes medication then talk to you pharmacist too, which includes that person as part of your team. Then talk to your loved ones and to your counsellor.

Education about Depression:

This is for your community and yourself

Learn as much as possible about own condition. Do not rely too much on Dr. Google! Talk to your doctor about treatment, talk to your pharmacist, get a counsellor. Take your medication as prescribed, if it is the wrong one or is not working tell your doctor or your patient advocate. Tell your story, notice your own patterns , be patient with yourself. You do not get to beat yourself up for depression. Notice when people offer you support. If your important people don’t offer because they don’t know how to offer, ask them for what you need, even though you may not know yourself.

Counselling:

For us as community:

Advocate. Advocate for well trained and qualified mental health services in both our community and health care facilities. I had a job in mental health services many years ago that had this sentence in the job description.

Identify what services that are needed in our community and help get those needs met. I loved that sentence .

This is an invitation to my readers, What does your community need around mental health services. Are people’s needs for mental health services being met? If not, why not? Write letters to city, provincial and federal politicians or people in positions of authority to get those needs met. Become a squeaky wheel. We have some great people officering free mental health services but there are not enough of them.

For the individual who lives with depression

Counselling can help you get to your story. Sometimes people don’t want to tell their darkest thoughts to family or friends but can tell it to a counsellor. Most often the counsellor will use counselling methods that help you put a new perspective on depression. They will help you learn that you re different than the depression or that the depression is not the real you. I have included a link of a person interviewing his own depression and asking it questions about how it has been helpful to him. This video has a language warning so if you are sensitive to swearing do not watch it. the depression reflects the helplessness and hopelessness that it carries with it. What I like about the video is that the man externalizes depression as not part of himself. Then he breaks up with the depression, he takes his voice back.

ADDITIONAL treatments:

Vitamins and supplements.

In spite of what your best friend’s sister says, the jury is still out about how well supplements work to treat depression. So be careful with these adjunct medications. again…talk to your doctor and or pharmacist about drug interactions and how some of the herbal medications used to treat depression can interact with the medication or treatment your doctor has recommended.

Mindfulness

I want to declare my bias up front so here it is… I love mindfulness. That includes meditation, guided, music and so on. I have an app on my phone that I really like and the free version is pretty good. When client’s tell me they have never mediated I get pretty excited and like to teach them about it. What I like about mindfulness is that it encourages you to become present in your own life. It invites you into a space of be-ing. So instead of running away or denying your sad feelings you just sit with them it sounds counter-intuitive but denying depression’s existence seems to make it more powerful. By sitting with it and actually looking at it we can find out what is feeding it.

Exercise and Going Outside

This is another of my biases. Many years ago I was advising a client to get more exercise. I was quite directive with her (as I am wont to be). Anyway, after the client left after promising to go for a walk for 10 minutes every day. I looked in the mirror and realized that I did not exercise every day, nor did I get outside very often. So I decided that if I wanted to keep my own mood in good working order I better get outside and start walking. I love it. I might never be skinny but my mood is better because of my long walks I tell people to get outside between the hours of 10:00 am -2:00 pm because the light is the best at that time to help mood. Although if you can’t get out during that time frame getting outside at any time is just fine.

If you are group exercise person, go for it. Doing group exercise kills two birds with one stone (I just realized how violent that metaphor sounds) by getting exercise and socialization at the same time.

Socialization

Every bone and muscle in your body and all of your brain cells are telling you to isolate. Do not listen to this part of the bully behaviour. Get out of your house, do volunteer work, call a friend, go to church, school or your job. But keep being around others even if your depression is telling you that they really don’t like you or that their conversations are petty and meaningless. Did I say already that depression is just downright mean and wants you to be alone?

SLEEP

We need it and depression either gives us too much or takes it away from us. If you are sleeping to much build up your resistance muscle and get outside for a 10 minute walk instead, drink a glass of water or brush your teeth but put off he 3 hour long naps in the middle of the day. If you are not sleeping enough look at your sleep hygiene. Stop the electronics after 8:00 pm build a quiet schedule for the evening, have a warm but not hot bath before bed. If you have a television in your room, move it out or at least turn it off after 8:00 pm. charge your cell phone and tablets somewhere else. The bedroom is for sleep.

WATER and FOOD

Sometimes the only homework I ask people to actually do when they have depression is to drink more water. How this was explained to me so many years ago is with this metaphor:

Your brain is like a sponge and sponges work better when they are wet.

So keep the non caffeine and non alcoholic beverages coming. Water is best but herbal tea or flavoured water are ok too. I personally like carbonated water. Cut back on soda or pop as much as you can.

Eat real food. Fresh fruit, vegetables and small amounts of meat and fish. The depression often seems to want people to increase salty and sweet snacks so when you feel real cravings for either salty of sweets , brush your teeth, go for a walk of chew on a carrot. Build your resistance muscle to cravings.

A Special Note About Alcohol and Drugs

There used to be an anti-drug campaign in the United States that used the logo, JUST SAY NO. That is what I want you to do with alcohol and drugs while you are experiencing depression. There is not mental health condition that pot or booze make better. Recreational drugs make depression and anxiety worse. The compounding effect is that at first they make you feel good for a short time and all of your worries seem to disappear. But the fact is that you will need more and more to get the same effect. Yes I have heard all of the claims about pot and CBD oil. Marijuana is not a wonder drug. So for at least the time you have depression stay away from alcohol and drugs. END OF LECTURE.

Thinking about Suicide

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you need to know that you’re not alone. By some estimates, as many as one in six people will become seriously suicidal at some point in their lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.

Do this instead:

• Tell someone please

• Present your self to the closest emergency room

• Promise not to do anything right now

• Call a suicide hotline and tell them the truth

• WAIT until tomorrow then tomorrow wait until the next day, repeat until you are better

• No drugs or alcohol while you are thinking about suicide

• Take hope – People DO get through this

 Remember:

1. You actually may not want to die you just want the pain that you are experiencing to go away.

2. Your emotions are not fixed – they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you’ll feel tomorrow or next week.

3. Your ability to experience satisfying emotions is equal to your ability to experience painful emotions.

Things to do that might help ease your pain

• Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time.

• Reach out to someone. Do it now. Call· Talk with someone every day, preferably face to face. Though you feel like withdrawing, ask friends to spend time with you. Or continue to call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.

• Make a safety plan. Develop a set of steps that you can follow during a suicidal crisis. It should include contact numbers for your doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency. Get rid of guns, pills or knives.

• Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it, no matter what. Keep a regular routine as much as possible, even when your feelings seem out of control.

• Get out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes a day.

• Exercise

• Make time for things that bring you joy. Even if very few things bring you pleasure at the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.·

Please stay alive.  We really do need you

Podcasts are not all created equally

This week I have been listening to podcasts and watching videos about depression and some of them are amazing and others not so much. I found one or two that I will list here that I think are awesome for different reasons.

I spent Wednesday listening to the Depression Talks Podcast. In this podcast the speaker talks about his own walk with depression. Its pretty raw so again if you are easily triggered please be careful about listening but this young man speaks with the ring of truth. I also like it because the progression in his podcasts is not always positive or happy/happy. I have included below a link to some great podcasts about living with depression.

https://depressiontalks.podbean.com/

https://www.thelily.com/10-podcasts-about-mental-health/

I have included a few books in the resource list that many of my clients have found helpful. As I spent this week reading about depression I realized what a large topic it is so I will write on it again in a different format.

Next week I am going to write about: Loneliness and making friends as adults.

Thank you for reading again. I appreciate the feedback that I get on my blog. Feel free to send me suggestions about topics. Make comments because it gives me ideas and also a bit of a thrill to read them.

Deborah

RESOURCES

Gillihan Seth, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies For Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, And Worry  2018

Sunim, Haemin, The Things You Can See Only when You Slow Down. 2012

Korb, Alex, The Upward Spiral, 2015

McIntosh, Diane : This Is Depression: A Comprehensive, Compassionate Guide for Anyone Who Wants to Understand Depression. 2019

Van Dijk, Sheri, Calming the Emotional Storm, 2012

https://depressiontalks.podbean.com/