If My Clients Could See What I See

If my clients could see what I see

If my clients could see what I see they would be amazed.  On a daily basis I see; intelligent, most often kind people who have good values.  I see those amazing people struggle with; depression, anxiety, fear  or some other form of oppression.

In my job I witness these brighter than average people, who often have many of the trappings of external success, tell themselves that they are ‘not enough’.  I hear them tell me that they have failed again and again.  Frankly we often fail at many of the things we later see as most important… relationships.

A long time ago one of my supervisors at mental health told me to ‘go where your clients are’.  What he told me in his own gentle way was to work harder at understanding the human condition and indeed the humanity of each person who chooses to see me as a counsellor.

At least on paper I have the training the experience, capacity and willingness to listen, honour, witness, guide and support as my client struggle with their own humanity, even as they  often go about doing amazing and good things in their public lives.

If I could help my clients see what I see in them, both what is there and their potential of what they could be, if they stopped putting barriers in their own way they could be just the kind of human that they so desire to become.

The thing that I can do is help people begin the process of becoming who they really are and not who the depression, anxiety, addiction or even low self esteem tells them they are.  Often those conditions tell us that they are telling us the truth and that we could not survive without them.  But when we start to heal into our potential we realize that even tarnished silver will shine when polished.  Like polishing tarnished silver healing can take quite a bit of elbow grease.

The Pulitzer Prize winner Dr. Rene Dubos writes:  “Because all human beings possess an innate unseen extremely rich potential when the opportunity presents itself they are able to tap this power and accomplish tremendous things.”

Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, put forth the idea that self-actualization (the fulfillment of self through reaching one’s potential) is the highest expression of a human’s life.

In his research Maslow found that self-actualized people were those who are creative and spontaneous, possess a good sense of humour and are able to tolerate uncertainty. They have an appreciation for what life has to offer, a deep concern for others and are able to enjoy close, meaningful, personal relationships.

He advocated a list of behaviours that he felt lead to self-actualization.

These behaviours include:

• Maintain the curiosity, attention and wonder you had as a child.

• Be open minded and try new things.

• Be honest and be willing to risk unpopularity if you disagree with others.

• Use your intelligence and work hard at whatever you do.

• Find out who you are, and what is important to you.

• Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

The Lesson About what I see in Humans:

There are no quick fixes  or short cuts to personal growth and becoming your best self.It does take work and frankly a significant amount of personal courage.

It is a deliberate, self disciplined process achieved by reflection, introspection and self-awareness.

What I see in each of my clients is what could be…and it is always wonderful and worth working towards.