What Clients Teach Me
the blog
How to Stop Wishing and Hoping
There is an old song called ‘Wishin and Hopin’ by Dusty Springfield and a much newer song by Drake called God’s Plan. Both songs talk about wishing that life could be slightly different than it is. That led me to think about acceptance of what is rather than what life owes us.
Micro-Habits = Emotional Growth and Behaviour Change
My work with clients is about emotional growth and behaviour change. Just lately I have been thinking about how we achieve progress towards humanity and wisdom. How do you make change when every single thing feels overwhelming? That feeling of being overwhelmed by depression, anxiety or fear is often what brings people in to see me.
What the Heck is A Good Marriage?
Good marriages are elusive and frankly difficult to define. John Gottman says that good marriages are not so easily definable and that they can include very different styles of communications, types of individuals, sexuality etc. However then he concludes that bad marriages look remarkably alike.
Teachers: Monday Mornings with Jean
This blog is about what clients have taught me and while this is about that, it is also about what I have learned from people whom I have let in to teach me. Some of my professors come to mind but today’s post is about Jean who I asked to coach me as an Executive Director.
If You Are Thinking About Suicide
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you need to know that you’re not alone. By some estimates, as many as one in six people will become seriously suicidal at some point in their lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.
If My Clients Could See What I See
If my clients could see what I see they would be amazed. On a daily basis I see; intelligent, most often kind people who have good values. I see those amazing people struggle with; depression, anxiety, fear or some other form of oppression.
Trauma and The New You After Trauma
Trauma is everywhere. When we become aware to what trauma is, we begin to realize that what may be traumatic for one of us may not be traumatic for another. We also begin to realize that trauma in one way or another is a common occurrence.
Change = Growth
Frequently in the first session with a new client I ask what is it that brought them to make the call now. Often there will have been one incident in the person’s life that helps them to decide that now is the time for change.
Mental Health Rant
I am a big fan of Rick Mercer and love his rants. Yesterday I was reading a book and it said that we have to know what we are passionate about and then work on that. When I ask people what their passions are the most common response is: family.
The Dying of a Marriage
How do you know when your marriage has ended? I always wanted to ask someone that question but never did do it. I asked the psychiatrist that I worked closely with how he knew when a marriage had ended and he told me this. The emotion leaves the room, there is no anger, no passion, no kindness.
What Is A Happy Day?
My happiness has nothing to do with the success, money or power that I thought would bring happiness to me. I am happy tonight but was not this morning. I spent the afternoon and evening with friends. I went for coffee this afternoon with a friend and we talked about books, politics, political correctness.
Embarassment
Tonight I found out that someone has some private financial information about my family. I am not happy about this and am embarrassed that this person knows about our money. It is not terrible or shameful news, but it is about money.
Waiting, Quieting In an Anxious Time
It seems to me as we wait for the Covid 19 Virus to either hit us harder for the second time or we adapt our behaviours permanently to protect ourselves from Covid, we continue to live in a period of heightened anxiety and generalized free floating fear.
Easter and How We Are Loved
Somehow most of us have bought into the Protestant Work Ethic that says that we are defined by our productivity; we are good because we do well. If we work hard enough, are frugal and disciplined we will be rewarded spiritually and economically because of that ethic.
I Have Been Thinking
I have been thinking about who we are as individuals and how the collective of individuals make up our communities, societies and our humanity. How do we know that our life has meaning and value. What is the purpose of living? Is it our job as citizens to follow the rules of the society in which we live?
